City Etiquette

I am here today to tell all visitors of New York City about city transportation etiquette. Whether taking the subway, riding an escalator or elevator, or just walking the streets, people are oblivious to the unwritten rules. To remove any confusion, I will document them here.

Start with an easy one - the subway. Although grainy messages over the loudspeakers constantly remind everyone, nobody remembers: let the people off before getting on the subway. It's simple. There are even bright orange signs on the platform floor in front of the doors in subway stations graphically showing riders where to "Step Aside." Why do people insist on standing directly in the middle of these bright orange signs like a human blockade? When everyone waits patiently, it is a much more efficient process.

Once on the subway, etiquette calls for you to respect other people's personal space - loosely defined but firmly desired. I know we are packed into the car like sardines during rush hour; some rules of thumb will make the trip more enjoyable for everyone. First, if there are already people jammed into the entrance of the subway car, don't turn your body and try to wedge yourself in. That is a recipe for a very uncomfortable ride. Wait for the next train. One will always follow. Second, use deodorant when riding the subway in the summer. Especially if you insist on wearing a tank top. Definitely if you prefer to hold onto the upper handles in the subway car. Nobody likes your sweaty armpit in their face. Believe me, it's true. Finally, don't push into or through other passengers, pretending you don't see them. We are not invisible. We know you can see us. If you have a specific position in the train you desperately need to reach, wait until a train comes with fewer riders. Otherwise, take the first available spot in the car.

Now for pedestrian traffic etiquette. Try to walk in a straight line. Slowly meandering from left to right and back again on the sidewalk makes it difficult for others with a real purpose and destination to pass you. If you have nowhere to go, stay home. Or, at the very least, get out of the way. If you are part of a group of pedestrians, this is even more important. Three or more people walking side-by-side is unacceptable. If someone is walking the other direction or wants to pass, move over. Again, you should have a destination. When you reach that destination you can talk to each other. In the meantime, step aside.

A special category of pedestrian traffic is escalator and elevator etiquette. If you are not walking on the escalator, stay to the right. Think about the passing lane on the highway. Allow those of us with a purpose to move along the left side unimpeded. If you are with a friend and want to talk to them, both of you must stand on the right side of the escalator. One of you should not be standing on the left side, blocking the traffic of purposeful pedestrians. One of you can stand a head taller than the other the entire trip. You can still carry on your critical conversations in this way. Also, if you are scared of the escalator and need to stop near the bottom or top, afraid its amazing force will suck you under, move to the right. Just because you walked 90% of the trip doesn't give you an unalienable right to the left side; leave that to those nimble enough to navigate the ends of the escalator without breaking our stride.

On an elevator, the rules are similar to the subway: wait for people to get off before getting on and respect other's personal space. The only special addendum is holding the doors for others. If you get on first and feel the need to immediately select your destination floor, you must hold the door for everyone else waiting to get on. Slamming elevator doors in their faces is not acceptable. Looking the other way or at your watch pretending not to see them while the doors slip past their noses is even worse. Show a little common courtesy and hold the door for others. Someday you'll be in a hurry and will want someone to hold the door for you. Take it upon yourself to be the first to follow this rule. Hopefully, others will follow your good example.

There are countless other rules of transportation etiquette that can be utilized to make it more pleasant to move around the city. I'll restrict the list to those I've mentioned already for now. When you master these, I'll help you with the rest. Good luck - get out there and get to your destination!